HI…JANI
LANE
here!
For
the
first
time
in
my
career
I’m
taking
the
time
to
write
my
own
bio.
Something
always
seems
to
get
lost
in
the
translation
when
you
have
a
third
party
handle
something
so
personal
(names
politely
omitted)
Anyway,
since
I’ve
been
known
to
write
a
thing
or
two…here
goes.
I was
born
Feb.1
1964
in
Akron
Ohio.
My
mother,
Eileen
Oswald,
was
a
huge
JFK
fan
and
was
heartbroken
over
the
recent
assassination.
My
father,
Robert
Oswald
(no
relation
to
Lee
Harvey,
whatsoever
“for
the
10
millionth
time”)
was
a
stout,
German,
blue
collar,
tire
maker
and
Democrat.
Needless
to
say,
he
was
also
a
big
JFK
fan.
Long
story
short,
in
tribute
to,
in
my
opinion,
the
last
“REAL”
President,
my
brilliant
parents
(I
loved
them
both
dearly)
decided
to
name
me
John
Kennedy
Oswald…no
joke.
After
about
a
month
of
harassing
phone
calls
they
changed
my
name
to
John
Patrick
Oswald
and
I
was
off
and
running!
At
the
age
of
6
my
brother,
Eric
Oswald
bought
me
my
first
kit
of
drums
and
turned
me
on
to
a
record
called
“Rubber
Soul”
by
the
Beatles.
My
brother
was
an
exceptional
guitarist
who
had
already
played
with
the
likes
of
Joe
Walsh
and
thought
it
would
be
cool
to
have
a
little
jamming
buddy…he’s
13
yrs.
my
elder.
I
loved
the
drums
from
second
1
and
was
special
guesting
in
clubs
by
the
age
of
11
(playing
out
professionally
by
15)
Before
I
go
to
far
into
the
music
thing…sports!
My
father
and
brother
were
huge
football,
boxing
guys..in
our
house
OHIO
STATE
RULED
and
the
Browns
were
big
as
well.
I
played
QB
and
won
2
pop
warner
(jr.
high)
Championships,
won
the
local
kick,
pass
and
punt
competition
3
yrs.
straight
and
was
recruited
by
St.
Vincent-
St.
Mary
high
school,
(LeBron
James)
played
there
then
transferred
to
an
all
boys,
catholic
high
school,
Arch
Bishop
of
Hoban,
another
Akron
Championship
team,
started
there
for
a
year
then
made
my
1st
in
many,
women
related,
mistakes….I
transferred
back
to
my
local
school
as
a
sophomore
because
I
missed
my
GF…we
broke
up
a
month
later
Back
at
Field
Local
H.S.
Mogodore
Ohio,
I
was
bored!
My
football
coach
was
the
principal
and
an
ex-marine…he
didn’t
like
my
long
hair…wouldn’t
let
me
even
try
out
for
QB
even
though,
in
his
last
game,
lost
40-0
to
a
team
I
had
beaten,
while
QB
at
Hoban,
44-0!
I
relegated
myself
to
cleaning
peoples
clocks
at
strong
safety
for
the
next
3
yrs.
(Got
mine
cleaned
a
few
times
too!)
I
also
started
at
forward
for
the
basketball
team
for
3yrs.
as
well.
I
also
was
playing
soccer
for
a
collegiate
level
team
called
“German
Family
Society”
started
at
left
wing
and
won
a
National
Championship
there.
While
at
Field
H.S.
I
also
became
a
“National
Thespian”
and
fell
in
deep
like
with
musical
theater…played
lead
in
such
classics
as
Pajama
Game,
Showboat,
Pippin,
Oklahoma
and
Arsenic
and
Old
Lace…btw…my
brother
fought
3yrs.
in
the
Golden
Gloves
and
I
was
his
sparring
partner.
I
took
out
my
frustrations
on
my
friend,
Gene
Slater,
who
has
since
thanked
me…he
not
only
owns
a
fabulous
BBQ
rest.
in
Memphis
but
went
on
to
be
a
National
Kick
Boxing
Champ.
I
scored
in
the
top
98%
of
the
U.S.
in
my
SAT’s…but
wait…there’s
more…
Back
to
music
“My
True
Love!”
I
was
playing
from
age
6,
drums,
4-6
hours
a
day.
I
would
sit-in
in
night
clubs
by
11.
I
already
had
a
stage
name
“Mitch
Dynamite”
I
lived
3
miles
from
Kent,
home
of
Kent
State
University…HUGE
party
town!
I
was
playing
clubs
in
my
first
band
“Cyren”
by
the
time
I
was
15…clubs
made
famous
by
other
North
East
Ohio
musicians
like
Chrissy
Hynde
(Pretenders)
Ben
Orr
(The
Cars)
Devo,
Joe
Walsh
(The
James
Gang…later
The
Eagles),
Todd
Rundgren,
Eric
Carmen
(The
Rasberries)…the
list
goes
on…Trent
Reznor
and
Mushroomhead
followed
me.
My
brother
handed
me
a
guitar
at
12
and
my
parents
had
an
old
piano.
I
was
writing
and
recording
my
own
songs
by
my
early
teens.
At
18
I
was
torn.
I
had
a
partial
scolarship
to
K.S.U.
for
musical
theatre,
I
was
pretty
damn
good
in
sports
but
I
loved
Rock-N-Roll.
(actually,
everything
from
Zep,
Preist,
Thin
Lizzy,
Queen,
Beatles,
Bowie,
Disco,
Funk
and
of
course…THE
BEATLES!)
fyi…this
is
really
skimming
the
surface…I
was
and
have
always
been
all
over
the
place
musically.
I asked
my
dad,
Ozzie,
(also
my
nickname
from
childhood)
what
I
should
do.
He
said
go
to
college
and
get
a
degree.
Please
understand
my
dad
was
already
a
published
author,
into
spirit
writing
(wrote
with
his
eyes
closed
with
both
hands
at
the
same
time
in
2
different
languages
and
spoke
3
languages…we
fought
about
it
(phsically)
and
I
left
for
Florida
that
night..I
had
an
offer
from
a
band
down
there.
fyi…I
didn’t
return
home
once
for
the
next
3yrs.
I played
drums
and
sang
in
a
very
popular
cover
band
in
Fla.
called
“Dorian
Grey.”
I
toured
the
state
for
3yrs.
living
out
of
hotels
and
playing
other
people’s
music
(frustrating
as
hell
but
fun)
I
was
writing
a
lot
and
really
wanted
to
perform
my
songs.
I
got
together
with
2
of
my
friends,
Al
Collins
and
Steven
Chamberlin
“Sweet”
and
decided
to
move
to
Hollywood.
I
heard
the
Sunset
Strip
was
kicking
ass…I
thought
if
bands
like
Ratt
and
Motley
Crue
could
do
it
so
could
I.
We
had
no
$$
so
I
sold
my
drums
and
we
started
driving…we
broke
down
in
every
state.
We
arrived
in
Hollywood,
Ca.
in
the
spring
of
’85
with
$20
bucks
to
our
name.
Al
had
his
parents
wire
some
cash
and
we
crashed
for
a
week
at
the
Hollywood
Bowl
Motel…I
got
a
telegram
saying
my
father
had
had
2
strokes
and
was
on
life
support
so
I
flew
home.
They
pulled
the
plug
on
him
that
night
and
the
tough
S.O.B.
lived
9
more
yrs.
(he
became
my
biggest
fan)
I
wrote
a
song
called
“Heaven”
while
I
was
home
and
the
guys
loved
it
when
I
came
back
to
L.A.
and
played
it
for
them.
While
I
was
in
Ohio
they
had
found
an
English
guitarist
named
Mikki
Doll…we
formed
a
band
called
“Plain
Jane”
and
started
opening
a
lot
for
a
band
called
Guns
&
Roses.
Meanwhile
there
was
this,
pain
in
the
ass,
competition
band
called
Warrant
who
was
opening
all
over
town
for
a
band
called
Poison.
We
did
this
for
the
next
year
and
in
’86
G-N-R
and
Poison
got
signed…we
couldn’t
get
arrested!
Steven
and
I
agreed
we
were
starving
and
decided
to
move
back
to
Fla.
That
night
a
note
was
left
on
our
apartment
door
saying
“We’re
the
guys
from
Warrant.
Our
singer
and
drummer
just
quit.
If
you
can
write
songs
come
down
to
DB
sound
rehearsal
and
lets
see
what
happens.”
Steve
and
I
went
down
and
I
played
them
Down
Boys,
Heaven
and
DRFSR.
They
said,
“You’re
in!”
and
the
rest
is
history…almost.
I told
you
I
sold
my
drums…when
we
got
to
L.A.
I
was
told
since
I
was
the
only
blonde
and
could
sing…be
the
LEAD
SINGER!
I
did
just
that.
Warrant
quickly
became
the
biggest
draw
on
the
“strip”
but
we
still
couldn’t
get
a
sniff
from
a
record
label.
We
met
a
manager,
Jamie
S.
who
had
done
some
work
with
Prince.
She
intorduced
us
and
he
gave
us
$7,000
to
do
demo’s
because
he
was
looking
for
a
rock
band
to
sign
to
“Paisley
Park.”
We
cut
the
demo’s
and
shot
a
video
the
night
we
broke
Van
Halen’s
attendance
record
at
a
club
called
Gazzri’s.
He
saw
the
video
and
said.”
the
singer
can’t
dance
but
go
ahead
and
use
the
demo’s
to
try
somewhere
else”…we
did…no
luck.
A&M
records
heard
the
demos
and
put
one
of
the
songs
in
“Bill&
Ted’s
Excellent
Adventure.”
The
song
wound
up
on
the
cutting
room
floor
and
so
did
A&M’s
interest.
Steven
and
I
were
ready
to
move
home
again
but
little
to
our
knowledge
a
fellow
by
the
name
of
Tom
Hullet
was
on
a
plane
back
from
N.Y.
Tom
was
a
manager
(
Beach
Boys,
Moody
Blues,
3
Dog
Night
etc.)
He
was
talking
to
his
friend
Doc
McGee
(Bon
Jovi,
Motley
Crue)
By
the
end
of
the
flt.
Tom
had
been
convinced
to
grab
up
a
“Hair
Metal
Band”
so
he
did…us.
We
were
signed
to
CBS/Columbia
a
month
later.
Our
1st
record
(DRFSR)
came
out
on
my
birthday
of
’89.
“Down
Boys”
went
to
#17
and
the
video
was
a
on
MTV…”Heaven”
went
#1
that
summer
and
so
did
the
video.
I
was
shocked!!!!
We
went
on
tour
for
the
next
16
months
opening
for
Motley
Crue.
We
had
a
couple
more
hits
“Sometimes
She
Cries”
and
”
Big
Talk”.
While
on
tour
with
Motley
I
wrote
most
of
the
next
record
(the
rest
when
we
got
home)
I
intended
to
call
it
“Uncle
Tom’s
Cabin”.
We
recorded
summer
of
’90
and
when
we
were
done
the
President
of
Columbia
Records
said”Jani,
you
know
I’m
a
big
Aerosmith
fan…can
you
give
me
one
more
track?
Something
kitchy
and
sexy
like
“Love
in
an
Elevator?”
I
wrote
“Cherry
Pie”
that
night
and
sent
it
off
to
N.Y.
the
next
day.
I’ve
been
the
“Cherry
Pie
Guy”
ever
since.
That
song
went
#7
and
the
video
was
infamous
worldwide.
“I
Saw
Red”
went
#5
“Blind
Faith”
went
#27
and
“Uncle
Tom’s
Cabin”
went
top
40.
We
toured
and
toured
some
more.
In
the
mean
time,
I
married
the
girl
from
the
“Cherry
Pie”
video,
Bobbie
Brown,
and
we
had
a
daughter,
Taylar.
She’s
19
now
and
going
to
college
on
a
journalism
scholarship.
I’m
very
proud
of
her!
During
this
time
I
heard
a
song
called
“Smells
Like
Teen
Spirit”.
I
felt
impending
doom!
I
wanted
to
hate
it
but
I
couldn’t…it
was
that
good.
I
locked
myself
in
my
home
studio,
in
Sherman
Oaks,
Ca.,
for
4
weeks.
I
wrote
the
entire
record
“Dog
Eat
Dog”
in
that
time.
We
rushed
into
the
studio
and
recorded
it
and
it
was
released
to
a
luke
warm
response…grunge
had
arrived.
It
went
gold
but
things
were
tough.
Our
manager
died,
my
dad
died,
I
got
divorced,
money
was
tight,
I
opened
a
night
club
in
Fla.
(Jani
Lane’s
Sunset
Strip)
and
the
band
kept
playing
and
recording.
I
just
kept
writing
songs…thats
always
been
my
friend
and
therapist
(when
I
finish
this
bio
I’m
headed
down
to
my
studio
to
begin
work
on
about
8
new
songs).
We
released
“Ultraphobic”
in
’95
and
“Belly
To
Belly”
in
’96.
I
released
a
solo
record
“Back
Down
To
One”
in
“03.
I
have
a
20
song
project
called
“Jabberwocky”
that
will
see
the
light
of
day…soon.
I
got
re-married
and
had
another
daughter,
Madison
(huge
Justin
Beiber
fan)
who
I’m
extremely
proud
of
as
well.
I
got
divorced
again
and
left
Warrant
in
’02
due
to
business
differences.
I’ve
done
3
movies
“High
Strung”,
“Caged
Fear”
and
“Bodyguard”
and
I
recently
remarried
to
the
love
of
my
life,
Kimberly.
I’ve
done
television,
movies,
blah,
blah,
blah.
I’m
starting
to
bore
myself
so,
needless
to
say…You
can
hear
my
music
worldwide
on
a
host
of
different
formats,
movies,
television,
satelite,
radio,
the
internet
etc.
Thank
you
Armed
Forces…I
have
a
U.S.O.
Commendation
and
my
brother
was
6
yrs.
Air
force.
Thanks
for
listening
and
know
that
everyday
above
ground
is
a
gift
and
I’m
truly
grateful
for
each
and
every
one
of
you!!!
SEE
YOU
ON
TOUR
THIS
YEAR!
PS..remeber,
“If
you
only
talk
and
don’t
listen,
you
only
learn
what
you
already
know.”
My
mother
died
on
Thanksgiving
Day
2004.
I
will
miss
her
forever.
She
was
my
guiding
light.
I
have
3
sisters
Marcine,
Michelle
and
Victoria.
And
YES,
I
LOVE
THE
SONG
“CHERRY
PIE!!!”
….SWING
IT!!
Jani
Lane,
July
2011